A Rather Disturbing Comparison

While listening to the radio at work today, I heard what could potentially be one of the most terrifying comparisons I have ever encountered. The song is Jordin Sparks' "Tattoo", in which a woman compares her lover to a tattoo on her heart.

Now, at first this seems like a relatively nice, straightforward comment: you can tell that she is trying to say that he will be there forever, no matter what, which is kinda nice. Similar to the "handprint on my heart" line from Wicked, except nowhere near as cute and heartwarming.

Anyway, for some reason the metaphor really bothered me, and I don't know why; the only thing I could think of is that the imagery was kinda gross (a tattoo on someone's heart doesn't exactly bring up warm, fuzzy images). However, after thinking about the metaphor for a bit, I realized there are some some pretty disturbing, messed up things that could be implied about the lover through this comparison- some messed up things that may have really been on Jordin Sparks' mind. If these are considered when listening to the song, it could take on a pretty disturbing tone
(which, in my opinion would actually make the song better, but that's a matter of opinion)

First Time Using the Sewing Machine Alone.

Hey,
So, I figured for my next post, I'd detail a rather amusing, albeit embarrassing, event my life; the first time I used a sewing machine without anyone helping me. I needed to hem a scarf for the Undertaker costume I am slowly developing, and I figured I knew my way around the machine fairly well by now, so I decided to attempt it solo.

Not Just For Kids

So, I was watching Hercules with my mom Monday. She had never seen it before, despite the fact that she bought it for me when I was 6 and it was one of my favourite movies, so I was a little disappointed; therefore, we watched it. Anyway, she didn't like it anyway because it was a "boy movie", and she doesn't like "boy movies", but this is all besides the point.

The point is that, after it was over, I mentioned that I thought that Herc and Meg have one of the cutest love stories ever, and she replied by questioning my emotional attachment to cartoon characters (considering that live-action characters are clearly less fictional than animated ones, they are ok to become attached to). Anyway, somewhere in the ensuing argument, a comment about how it's weird that I still read comic books arose, because she was under the impression that comic books are only written for young children. She didn't understand the concept of comic books intended for an older audience, and basically didn't believe me that they existed.

Anyway, in an attempt to change the minds of anyone who might share this same opinion, I have decided to summarize some elements from five series (three of my favourite manga, and two from western comics) that clearly demonstrate how some comic books are clearly not designed simply for children, and can be immensely (and respecfully) enjoyed by an older audience. I hope that this post may change the perspective of some people, and maybe help create a bit more respect for one of my favourite art forms. Also, after the break, there will be unmarked spoliers a-plenty, so be warned; if you intend to read any of these and don't want plot points spoiled, please skip the respective comic's section.

What Happened to Rachel Leigh Cook?

Ok, so I decided to do a kind of "Celebrity Disappearing Acts" article, and I have decided to focus on the incredibly talented Rachel Leigh Cook. Cook was a pretty big hotshot during the late 90's, appearing in a handful of popular films, and being hyped like crazy by the media, being declared the 26th sexiest woman of 2002 by Stuff magazine. Yet, for some reason, she managed to completely drop out of the public eye around 2002-ish, despite the name she had managed to create for herself, and the talent she had displayed.

Anime North 2011

Ok, so I am back from a weekend of anime, manga, cosplay, free hugs, and other awesome. As usual, the con was amazing, and I had the time of my life.

Last week, when I said I would provide a summarry of Anime North, I had this kind of "journalism"-type mindset, where I would attend a bunch of events and panels, and summarize them. However, I quickly remembered that the fun of something like AN does not come from those things: it is the general atmosphere around you, and the fun times you have with friends that make it so awesome. Don't get me wrong, the events are awesome and alot of fun, and I really enjoy them, but they don't necessarilly make the con what it is. However, since I doubt you guys want to read a bunch of anecdotes about things I did with my friends, I will talk about some of the highlights of overall con that apply to everyone.

I'm Back! Also, New Column!

Hello friends,

I apologise immensley for my two-month disappearing act. I met this strange british man in a "police public call box", who invited me to travel through time and space with him, and I just couldn't refuse. However, we have now unfortunately gone our separate ways (apparently he couldn't get over this Rose chick), so I am back here to write for you.

A Critical Analysis of "My Humps"

Steven Greenwood

Dr. Faye Kessay

ENGL 2112

March 11, 2011

Linguistic Oppression of the Female Sex, as Represented in My Humps

            Serious critical analysis of My Humps by popular music group The Black Eyed Peas is surprisingly scarce. The only criticism currently available is, unfortunately, demeaning and belittling of the song’s artistic integrity, referring to it as “Horrifically bad… objectively bad” (Hsu). However, as I will argue, My Humps presents a rather powerful theme of the way women are oppressed by men through the use of simplistic, demeaning language. This can be seen by comparing the views and statements of both the men and the women featured in the song, especially in terms of the abundant literary devices and the inconsistence with which nouns are referred to as singular or plural.

Why "Grease" Teaches Horrible Life Lessons

Ok, I'm going to start by saying that I'm not going to bring up the whole argument that the film basically ends with Sandy changing who she is to please a man, considering that it has been brought up countless times before (I do agree with this argument, but it's in no way my idea).

However, besides the borderline mysogynistic ending, Grease has many other parts that have always bothered me. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the movie, but there are certian pretty bad lessons it teaches:

Advice for first-year Students

So, with my first year of school at Brock more than half way done, I figured I would write out some things that I wish I knew when I started going to Brock, and that I think other first years should know. Although I am having an absolutely amazing time at Brock now, I can't help but think that learning the following things a bit earlier than I did would've made the first few months alot better:

The Cheese is Dead

Ok, so due to a lack of reader interest, I have decided to finish my weekly Cheesy Movie of the Week segment. I will still be updating this blog every Monday (and occasionally throughout the week), so it stays regular, it will just no longer always be a Cheesy Movie of the Week, as the series is not drawing as much interest as my one-shot blogs (we have this nifty tool on blogspot called 'stats' and I can see that more people are reading non-cheesy movie posts than cheesy movie posts... basically I get to stalk you and call it research). Anyway, if anyone really, really liked the segment, shoot me a message, and I may consider re-vamping it, but for now I'm going to shoot for a wider variety of posts so it doesn't feel so formulaic, and I can keep you guys more engaged.

Cheesy Movie of the Week #7- "Saved"

Most people looking for a fun, cheesy movie would look at the movie Saved, see that it stars Mandy Moore, and immediately run away for fear of a depressing walk that they will always remember, while their friends get to see them cry for a moment (bam, two horrible references in one! You are free to forget that that sentence exists). However, Saved is awesome in that Mandy Moore actually plays the antagonist: a stuck up, "holier than thou" character, while the lead is taken by the amazing Jena Malone (Donnie Darko). Saved is awesome in that it manages to effectively parody judgemental religious people without offending Christianity itself.

Cheesy Movie of the Week #6- "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

So, if you know me fairly well, you'll probably be a bit confused by my choice for this week: most of my friends know that I am borderline obsessed with the TV show Buffy, and I like it in a very un-cheesy way (don't get me wrong, it has it's moments of cheese, but I like the show on so many more levels). However, what alot of people don't realize is that, a while before the TV show piloted, Buffy had its origins in a really, really cheesy movie.

If classic literature developed modern fanbases

The rise of the internet has brought about many awesome cultural innovations; this is, in a large part, due to the incredible level of communication it allows us to achieve. One of the most exciting things that has happened is the mass fanbases: thanks to online forums, communities and fan pages, it is more fun than ever to be a fan of something. However, one medium that has unfortunately been rather left out of the fanbase excitement is classic literature, which is unfortunate for me as there are many classic novels that I think should really have modern fanbases, as I would very much enjoy being a part of them. In this blog, I will list several awesome fanbase trends that would vastly improve my enjoyment of classic literature.

Cheesy Movie of the Week #5- "Grease 2"

So, Grease 2 is the sequel to the classic, era-defining musical Grease (which actually managed to define both the 80's with its cast and production style, and the 50's with its settings and characters). It stars the incredibly talented Michelle Pfeiffer, who has played a plethora of diverse, complex roles (I am Sam, Dangerous Liasons), and is one of the most cherished stars of American cinema.
What do we get?

Cheesy Movie of the Week 4- "The Ten"

So, I'm in Future Shop a while ago, and I see a movie with Wynona Ryder (Heathers), in the bargin bin for 4 bucks. I figure, "how bad can it be?" The answer, my friends, is bad... very bad... but in a very cheesy way. Thus, The Ten gets to be our fourth Cheesy Movie of the Week.

Cheesy Movie of the Week #3- "Josie and the Pussycats"

So, after two posts, we finally get to Josie and the Pussycats- one of my favorite cheesy movies of all time ever. It was going to be the first one I reviewed, but I decided to save it until I'd gotten the ball rolling. The film is, obviously, a big-screen adaptation of the comic/cartoon franchise that follows the antics of a crime-fighting, three piece rock band. The film, in similar suit, follows a small-town garage band as they mysteriously make it big overnight, and then discover the dark secrets behind their new label. Josie is great in that it manages to be an awesomely over-the-top, cheesy comedy that knows how to make fun of itself, a successful satire on the state of the music industry (and pop culture in general) circa 2000, and a badass girl power movie all in one.

"Josie and the Pussycats" combines an amazing cast, incredibly impressive soundtrack, witty, ironic set design and some of the best cheesy dialogue ever, to create a film that satisfies on many levels. Every detail of this film adds to either the cheesy goodness aspect or the badass aspect, and I have watched it more times than is healthy, and it has never gotten old.

How I met my band

So, I was out with a few friends the other day (two of whom are in my band, and one of whom is dating the singer), and the topic of "my first time meeting the band" came up... a topic which always leads to a very entertaining conversation. Our friend Francine (the singer's girlfriend) then suggested that I should write about it, and I figured "hey, why not?"

So, to start off, I should mention that I first came in contact with the band through the online classified site, Kijiji. Being the loser that I am, I decided to advertise that I was looking for a band to join, and, unexpectedly, I actually got a reply from a guy looking for a new saxophone player, who invited me to come see the band play a garage gig at his house. Now, a guy named Kirk, whom I've never met asking me to come meet him in his garage in Queenston seemed a bit risky, so I asked my friend Ken (whose alot more intimidating than I am) to come along with me, so he could fight off any potential ill-wishers.

Cheesy Movie of the Week #2- Clue

Welcome to the second installment of my weekly segment. This time, I am going to introduce you to a film from a very interesting niche market: movies based on classic board games (yes, this market exists... Scrabble already has two movies). Clue, which consists of an all-star cast including Tim Curry ("Rocky Horror"), and Martin Mull (everything), succeeds in being both one of the most awesomely cheesy movies ever, and providing a fairly decent murder mystery.

The key to Clue's hilarity comes in three forms: the awesomly quircky characters, the cheese-filled dialogue, and the abrupt, blunt pacing achieved. These can be attributed to the combination of an amazing cast, and the writing/directing team of Jonathan Lynn ("Yes, Minister"), and John Landis (many films, including "Animal House").